Darkness pulls and madness shows its head
Tears build up in my eyes
Because I feel like giving up
I’ve been fighting too long
Knuckles bloody and gashed
Fingernails hanging off ever so painfully
All I want is what’s mine
My own path, my own way
My own freedom
I need time alone
Time to heal
I’ve been fighting myself for so long
Long before we stood here
The perimeters of our souls intermingled and they raced to one another
They smile down upon us now for finally catching up
And here we are together inside of the reality of my wildest dream
In my dream of Love happening in beautiful silence
Love moving fluidly under the blanket of stars
Not angel would disturb us
For they make way for The Calm to continue
I’ve reached out for you before
You reached out to me
Funny how fast dreams can manifest with Love
And become a reality
Our bodies are pressed together
Trying to mesh into One
Our tongues dancing to the excited rhythm of our hearts
Fingers tracing the surface of our flesh, ready and willing
Not an angel will disturb us
The Mother Moon looks down on us, lovingly urging us on
They said perfection was impossible to attain
Yet, if they could taste this state of being
…they’d know perfection has always been there
Just a few weeks ago, I was preparing my role as a guy named Ted in a play called Blind Date by Samara Siskind. To prepare I had to learn to do a British accent properly. Now because I had never practiced a British accent or given it much thought, my two week rehearsal process was almost entirely devoted to learning this accent and memorizing my lines with the accent instead of studying the character. I usually study the hell out a character before I memorize any of the lines. Why? For me, as an actor, it always makes more sense to know why a character is doing or saying the things they are in this particular play. The lines, therefore, stick very easily after that for me. This time it was the other way around.
Now, something strange happened. It was getting close to opening night, and I still hadn’t done much character work. I went to sleep one night and had an interesting dream. In the dream I was having dinner with my father, his wife and my step brother. For some reason I was standing on a box while they ate. My step brother asked me to explain the character I was playing for this play. So I began to explain. And I explained. Explained, explained and explained. I told my brother about my character in great detail. After I finished explaining, my brother said, “Well, lil bro, looks like you really got a hang on this character. You ain’t got nothin to be worried about.”
I woke up shocked. There’s no way I could have understood that much about my character or knew that much because I hadn’t done that much character work. Unless…I intuitively understood my character while going over the script. I guess I just hadn’t trusted myself or my instincts. The dream baffled me because I never had anything like that happen before. But it showed me that I needed to trust my intuition more because deep inside me, I understood this guy and everything about him without realizing I was doing it.
I don’t condone not doing character work, but I do encourage any actors out there to trust their instincts and intuition. That’s a life lesson for me also. That voice always speaks to me. Always, always, always. Any time I’ve ignored it, I’ve shot myself in the foot. The play was a success though, and people have given me high praise for my performance. I am ever so thankful, ever so grateful for another opportunity to be creative and present my artistry again.
Most of you know me as a writer on here, but I’m an actor first and foremost. I guess I should talk about it more. I write because it comes most natural. The vision is making my own film company where I write, direct and act in my own films. So it all works together.
When you look at all those faces walking the streets
All those eyes of different colors
Do you ever stop to wonder if you’re looking at yourself?
They say that the people in our dreams are merely projections of us
From the demon
To the infant
To the Angel
And what if this reality is a dream?
Wouldn’t be fascinating to know that maybe you’re seeing yourself on the street reflected through another?
The lovers we meet
The people we make love to
Isn’t it just a re-membering
A re-union with yourself?
A reunion with the Whole
And what is the Whole?
You asked yourself that question since you were a child
You left home this morning
With your heart full of questions left over from the night
And you asked God to reveal himself to you
So when you see them, do you see Him?
Do you see Her?
The God, The Goddess, The Whole
Us moving different directions but headed the same way
You’re another girl
Who forces me to ask myself
Why I’m always wanting the heart that doesn’t see me?
I search around me for the rose
You know, the one I may have overlooked
And see nothing but gleaming mud the color of emptiness
And I look back at you
I watch you walk away without a second glance at me
And I look down at my fallen rose petals and walk away too
Everyone has their own choice to be free. Even if that means you don’t give the love I wanted you to give.
These are my last words to you
Do not despair
One day you will know this peace, too
My intention was of love
And to never keep you tied to me
As my soul leaves my shell
Know that we both are free
Cry, shed a tear
Whatever you see fit
I will know that I was enjoyed
And truly celebrated and missed
But you must carry on
And remember I’ll never be far
See my love wherever you go
I am in swaying trees or the shine in a glimmering star
The lights go down and transition into a soft & sensual atmosphere. Suddenly you’ve felt the Moon make her appearance and you don’t know the cause of this carnal pull you feel within you. The keys of this piano hit you with my every stroke. I hit lightly. I hit hard and back to light again. This rhythmic melody pulses through your body, so you can’t help but to be drawn in. You lean over my keyboard without conscious thought of what you’re doing. Your friends don’t even ridicule you because they, too, find themselves entranced and in the throes of a mysterious desire. These melodies move through your ears, making love to your brain. Widening your eyes and exciting the cells in your veins…until… it hits… home. Warm and pleasurably wild, oh what a beautiful mess. Your face says you want to let out the most animalistic of a moan, but you keep yourself tame. I see it. I see you. The Moon hangs over the sky, the lighting foreshadows a night alone for us. Tonight we can’t complain of the rain, because the moisture has laid the path for you to take me easily and willingly. Look up, look up…the weather is just right. You’re ready.
I’ll give you my heart
But I ask that you don’t do the same
You’ll give me the love
And I’ll only give you pain
But when you come around, get ghost
The ones who talk about you
But never talk to you
…may God bless your pitiful hearts” —nightbepeace
Have you ever looked at someone
and could tell that they were trying
a fall? Or maybe
they were grasping desperately
to what’s left
of a slowly breaking rope,
and that rope was their sanity?
It’s a strange thing.
Yet, thinking of this analogy
and thinking of her,
it brings tears to my eyes.
I’ve tried renouncing my craving for you, but the craving only intensified. When you willingly bring your broken soul into my room, a strange euphoria sweeps through my being because I know I don’t have to be broken alone. I tried to banish the thought of laying kisses all over your naked body, but I realized denial has given birth to nothing but immense desire. But before I sign your body with a declaration of my love, I first have to tell you that I love you just because. Two souls never cross paths by chance, and I knew the day I opened my mouth to speak to you, it would ignite something. But I never envisioned, I could never foresee, such a brilliant design. I walked these halls and roamed these streets silently yearning for a lover. I silently pleaded for God to send me the experience of love again. And there you came that day with your cup overflowing with childlike charisma and ravishing beauty. So now I’m ready to consume you fully. I may never see you after this night. Our tomorrow may never come. I know not what is to become of us, but let us revel in uncertainty. Now lay back, darling and let me declare the rest without words.
- It is the opening night of The Occupy Wall Street show. The actors of the show stand outside watching everyone go in. LeVance sees a beautiful girl grab a program before entering the theatre.
- LeVance: Damn, look at her
- Justin: She's pretty hot, dude. You should talk to her
- LeVance: (to the girl) Hey...why don't you...occupy yourself on the front row
- The girl looks back at LeVance with a blank stare and then walks in
- Justin: (laughing) Oh my God. I can't believe you just said that. What is wrong with you?
- Fast forward to the end of the show
- Justin and LeVance stand onstage after the show is over and they discuss with the audience members about the Occupy protests.
- The attractive girl comes up to LeVance
- Girl: Hey
- LeVance turns around, surprised
- LeVance: Hey
- Girl: Those two poems you performed. Did you write those?
- LeVance shifts weight to one leg and cocks his head back boyishly.
- LeVance: Yeah...I wrote those words
- Long pause as the girl and LeVance stare at each other
- Girl: That was powerful
- She immediately saunters away
Do I really need a reason to love you? Say the reason I love you is because you do nice things for me. If you stop doing those things, does that mean I would love you any less? That would be conditional love. My love isn’t dependent on people or events. It simply is. I simply love you.
In the matters of writing
Why is that the words I search for so that I can express myself honestly, poetically
Come only when I find myself lost in daydreams and unconscious ruminations?
But as soon as I dare describe this feeling of love
I have in my heart for her tortured soul
The words scatter like darkness in the presence of light
With the last few weeks of school winding down, school work has not allowed me time to write. I’m acting and directing, rehearsing, studying, reading, memorizing lines…theatre people stuff. I. want. to. write!
by Neale Donald Walsch (via dulcept)